


Hiatus

by Melanie_D_Peony



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Ficlet, Mild sexism and machismo, Other, Statement Fic, Swearing, love letter to the fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanie_D_Peony/pseuds/Melanie_D_Peony
Summary: So I forced myself to listen to the second episode, disgusted by the trepidation that overcame me as I was about to press play.This was ten days ago. And the weird shit just keeps on happening.How do you deal with the hiatus?
Kudos: 13





	Hiatus

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fan fiction. The author doesn't own any of these characters.

**Phil**

Guest 

Feb 23, 2020 at 4:14am 

Hey does anyone know how to get in touch with the creators of this weird ass podcast?! 

**Anon**

Guest 

Feb 23, 2020 at 4:18am

What's the matter, Phil? You sound upset. :( 

**Phil**

Guest 

Feb 23, 2020 at 4:38am 

Upset?!!!!?!

Everything's been absolutely bonkers since I've began to listen to this fucked up shite, man!!!!!!!!!

Now you've got to understand, it's not that I'm being squeamish about the content. I _know_ it's a horror show and I listen to far more edgy stuff on a regular basis. 

I am a cleaner, you see. It's not the most glamorous job out there, I admit - but it keeps me fit and pays my bills, so I don't complain. The only aspect I hate is the quiet. I'm usually completely alone in the buildings I clean and it takes about five minutes until my inner monologue begins to drive me nuts. So I tend to queue up a bunch of shows to listen to, hook onto whatever wifi the offices and schools on my rota have and listen to an endless array of content while I scrub away, to drown out my stream of consciousness. 

Horror stuff isn't _really_ my jam, but I saw an advert for _Ghost Hunt UK_ a while ago and the presenter, Melanie King, looked super hot, so I let their videos roll in the background while scouring a dental surgery. But the show ended somewhere around 2018, so I moved on to _What The Ghost_ (Georgie Barker is also a babe - why are all these formidable glas into ghost stuff???!) and when I caught up with that show my browser suggested this podcast. I wasn't really keen on it without the premise of an eye candy, but I gave it a try. I enjoyed the first episode well enough - the presenter's voice sounded like a steel pipe wrapped in silk, all smooth but strong, so I kept the tape rolling while finishing up my day's work. It was about a monster that baits humans by asking for a cigarette and it left me pleasantly spooked when it was over. 

Cleaning means working all hours and it was dark by the time I left my last place. I was lighting up on my way to the bus stop, thinking about my shift tomorrow, when I heard a weak voice emerging from a dark alleyway. 

_Do you have a cigarette?_

Now, I don't believe in the supernatural _at all_ , but this was a bit too weird a coincidence to feel comfortable. I walked past quickly and whatever was calling from the alleyway, it didn't try to follow me. Later I felt stupid for nearly soiling my pants over what must have been a drunken hobo trying to bum a fag. So I forced myself to listen to the second episode, disgusted by the trepidation that overcame me as I was about to press play.

This was ten days ago. And the weird shit just keeps on happening. 

When I was halfway through the first season, I was cleaning an old place of mine - I'd been doing this family's semi detached for well over five years. I know the place like the back of my hand; kitchen, lounge and guest bathroom on the ground floor, three bedrooms and two bathrooms on the first. Takes me approximately three hours to polish it from top to bottom. But as I was was hoovering that day, listening to a fictional account about a distorted man, I noticed something that I am _goddamned_ sure was not there before.

An extra door. One that I have not seen in all my years working this place.

But, by then, I knew what the door meant. And I am certain that you freaks do too. 

I left immediately. I texted the owners, lying that I smelled gas. I quit that place the very next morning and haven't been back there since. 

And the creepy bull is bleeding into my days, even when I ain't listening to the cursed show. I had one drink too many a few days ago and nearly went off with a hot chick - when I realised that I _haven't heard her speak all night_. Not even when she talked me into going back to hers.

My mates thought me crazy for turning her down and Toby, my best friend, took my place gallantly. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to seem _mad_.

Yesterday Toby's brother finally filed a missing person's report. And I know exactly what the police will find when they finally trace him down.

I think I need help. I feel like I'm slipping away. My old, familiar world is slowly, gradually being replaced by this cruel mockery. Everything seems the same. But there are shadows, squirming in the darkness here.

I took up the habit of carrying a torch with me. And insecticide. And a lighter with an abundance of lighter fluid too.

I don't know if this is happening _because_ I began to listen to this bleeding show. Or it's that I just wasn't _aware_ until now. But the matter of the fact is that this podcast actually saved my friggin' life(!!!!!!!) on over forty separate occasions. 

Maybe I could quit listening.

But honestly, I am too fucking scared at this point. 

You see, I  _need_ to speak to the creators. I  _have to_ get hold of an email address or a link. 

Does anybody know how to get in touch?!?!?!?!?!!!!!

I only have two more episodes left until the final one.

_And I don't know how to deal with the hiatus._


End file.
